I Sing the Rutabaga, part 2
420 Rough Trade Ruta Baga
4 - 6 Ruta Bagas from the wrong side of the tracks
1/4 teaspoon Old Salt
Water
1 or more tablespoons of olive oil (a fresh virgin preferably)
Nutmeg and pepper to spice her up.
Peel and cut rutabagas until they go to pieces. Put them into a saucepan, add salt and water. Work her up to a boil, then turn heat slowly down to a slow, sinuous simmer and cook until tender and compliant. Drain and save the fluid. With a potato masher, thrash the rutabagas in a pot adding in some of her hot juice as needed.
Add the virginal oil. Salt and pepper to taste. Serve her in a bowl sprinkled with nutmeg, fresh sage or other herbs.
S&Mashed Potatoes and Rutabagas
Equal parts rutabaga and potatoes, denuded and nipped into 2-inch pieces
1-3 tablespoons butter
2/3 cup milk
Couple slashes of salt, pepper and nutmeg, or to taste
Boil rutabaga and potatoes. When docile, remove from heat. Drain and mash, then add butter, milk, salt, pepper, and nutmeg. Whip and beat until they moan a little. Taste and add more salt if necessary. Garnish with a corset of chopped parsley.
Mash on the lovely Ruta with Onions
One rutabaga, dicey.
Chop 1 well endowed onion
2 tablespoons butter
Salt and pepper to taste
Boil rutabaga and onion in a small amount water until tender and very willing. Drain, mash with butter, salt, and pepper. You know you are a masher, so do it well.
She will serve four quite enthusiastically.
Put the Carrot in the Rutabaga Casserole
1 large rutabaga, shaved and glabrous
Several medium carrots, well rubbed and glistening.
2 tablespoons butter
A good egg
A couple spoons of your schweet brown sugar
Dash pepper, salt
A cup of evaporated milk (or soy)
A cup of cooked rice
Cook rutabaga in boiling water until obliging and lithesome. Heat carrots in boiling water until just slightly soft but still adequately tumescent.
Transfer cooked rutabaga to a bowl and beat with butter, egg, brown sugar, salt, and pepper until silky smooth and all fluffed up. Stir in milk and rice; put the carrot in her. Spoon her well in a buttered baking dish. Bake at 350° for 35 to 40 minutes.
Serves the higher and lower natures of 6 to 10.
Cheesy Studio 54 Rutabaga
Ms. Ruta Baga baked with cheese sauce and breadcrumbs.
1/4 cup melted butter or butter flavored Tantric massage oil
1/4 cup flour or other white powders
2 cups milk or soy
1 cup totally tattered Cheddar cheese
Salt, pepper
One voluptuous rutabaga, cleaved and cooked.
Toss and fling 1/2 cup bread crumbs with 1 tablespoon butter
Put on a white 3-piece suit and a little too much cologne. 
Melt butter in a pan over low heat and jounce in the flour. Stir it up until fervent and smooth, then slowly add in milk. Cook, stirring constantly until creamy and thick. Add the cheese and excite until your have a smooth, cheesy 70’s lounge lizard quality. Salt and pepper to taste. Place Ruta in a buttered baking dish, as shallow as your old disco persona, and pour your warm sauce over the top of the slightly stewed Ms. Baga. Sprinkle with buttered breadcrumbs. Drink a few martinis under a mirrored ball and bake at 400° for 15 - 20 minutes or until it is as done as your are.
Be brave, step outside your cultural prejudices and dare to heat up this tuberous little honey. She will likely return the favor. © 2008 Keith E. Hall. All rights reserved.
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